Superbowl widow


我曾經是一個football widow。

美國人沉迷美式足球,於是每年球季一到(嘩長成半年呀陰功),便產生一個個被足球擄掉老公的寡婦。

美式足球之恐怖處,在於其因暫停所引起之加時。一場一小時的球賽又分四段,每段後都有休息,最終打出三個鐘是閑閑地,我肯定當時因此被某人遺忘滯留於機場接機處好多次。

中場休息通常有表演,決賽時電視更會首播全年最精彩的電視廣告。很多足球寡婦的怨氣積埋積埋,會於中場差個衰佬去買餸報仇;我比較厚道,最多要求某人去大廈各層洗衣房收衫。

「我看得好緊張呀,我心情還未平服呀,我手心冒汗呀,我怕拿不穩洗衣籃呀。」

「你少來!嗱我保證,如果教練打電話找你要求教路,我第一時間飛去洗衣房OK?」

對了,明顯我們都來自那個手提電話還不普及的時代。所以話,我只是「曾」為football widow,我現在已榮升blackberry widow。

如果將看足球的人比成死人,那麼用黑莓的人,大概就是死了兼化成灰的人囉。足球寡婦還好,坐在死人旁其實可以膽仰遺容可以一起看足球,但化成灰的人呢,等於從世上消失了,任何活動都教黑莓寡婦無從參與。

說回足球,當時最多人看的是Sunday football,消耗了無數人的大好假期,那時我們一班寡婦,就在球季一齊焗了不少蛋糕。我其實有盡過力學着看的,不過大隻佬撞大隻佬搶波,實在不是每個人杯茶,我也不愛看足球員緊身衣下的肌肉。

其次是Monday Night Football,記得當年一個台播足球,對台便播Ally McBeal。好啦我們其實都比中女Ally McBeal幸運,起碼半場休息時仍基本上有個人去吓洗衣房呀超市之類,所以就收聲焗多幾個蛋糕算囉,反正足球旺季正值隆冬,天寒地凍都冇節目。

IQ題:過去四天,美國人最熱門的活動是甚麼?

當然就是洗衫和準時到機場接機啦,星期天剛打過今年決賽吖嗎謝天謝地。噢還有一樣,就是去買印了「X隊贏了第n屆足球好威呀」的衫呀帽呀足球等等。

IQ題:商人知道賽果後,如何於一秒內製造如此多件印了「X隊贏了第n屆足球好威呀」的衫呀帽呀足球等呢?

當然就是為最後兩強都預先印好「乜隊贏了第n屆足球好威呀」的衫呀帽呀足球等啦。

IQ題:決賽翌日,該如何處置那一大堆印了「Oops sorryY隊其實輸了第n屆足球啊陰功」的衫呀帽呀足球等呢?

剛收到宣明會電郵,今年所有衣物都會被送去海地真正的孤兒寡婦,只等我們捐出運費

Dear Friend,

Have you wondered what will happen to the Colts Super Bowl Championship apparel? Well, I have good news, it won’t go to waste. With your help, children in Haiti will receive the donated Super Bowl game-day apparel bearing the Colts championship logo.

“For years, World Vision has helped us to ensure that no NFL apparel goes to waste," said David Krichavsky, NFL director of community relations. “With the enormous needs in Haiti and World Vision’s long-term presence there, we know that these goods will go to very good use."

Your gift today will help ship and deliver this clothing to the people who need it most, and give them a renewed sense of normalcy and dignity. Because corporate partners donate the clothing, your gift multiplies 15 times in value to deliver new pants, sturdy shoes, protective jackets, and more to children and families in Haiti and 31 other countries around the world.

Children in Haiti still need our help. Please continue to join us in prayer and support for children and families as they rebuild their lives.

God bless you,

Rich Stearns
President, World Vision U.S.

12 則迴響

Filed under 爹爹, 阿四

12 responses to “Superbowl widow

  1. 嘩, D男人咁咖?

    你唔講我都唔知.

  2. 所以呢,香港老婆都算得上是超級幸福啦!最多都係做英超寡婦,只係英超都仲可以睇下靚仔呀。

  3. 哈哈哈,有同感。有一次追到一半他肚痛,寧願急死也不肯上廁所。邊看邊面青標汗。

  4. Blackberry can get worse – My husband’s company just changed his Blackberrry to a new one which preloads some new games! 問你死未?!

  5. 五:係呀。

    bakingmaniac:美國每年好似得一日係冇sports睇,陰功

    Jenni:抵佢。

    Loklokmama:死囉。喂你隻電飯煲雞好似好正

  6. Simon Ching

    又唔係用腳,個波又其實唔係波,竟然會叫個 “足球",十足十的 misnomer。

  7. 用咗幾年先略為識欣賞:) 以前我都有間中睇淘金隊,但鐘意睇籃球同職棒比賽多啲。

    不過因為睇波唔接妳機又好誇張喎…..

  8. Simon:雖然football害我不淺,但講句公道話,Webster話,ball者,a spherical or ovoid body used in a game or sport也。
    不過當然啦,伍晃榮話,波係圓嘅。

    噢,American football係可以用腳架。

    JLS:再跨D都得呀。
    By the way, 美國全年好似話得一日係冇professional sports架乍,死未。

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